Monday, November 05, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
They never knew it but it was their smiles, their silly antics like drinking minyak kapak, like throwing up in front of my classroom, like throwing up bandung in my class, like almost burning down Holiday Inn Kuching, that time and time and again brought me up from whatever low I was experiencing. And now, when I'm on the verge of another milestone in my teaching adventure ( or lack of it, heh ) they are still there. For that my dearest, I'm truly honoured and grateful.
These group of lovelies always restores my faith in the younger generation. In times when you have insolent adolescents who defecate into plastic bags with the intention of smashing their biological war'bags' onto their teachers' cars, who pee into their teacher's hot water flasks, it's a blessing to know these lovelies who are set achieve greater things in life. One is to become a business IT manager, you know, the ones you see in banks who look so tres chic they might as well have just stepped out of a fashion mag. 3 are set to join the medical industry, one as a doctor, mind you, and the other 2 will be nurses. Another is almost ready to be a great engineer.... the other 2 while waiting to start their tertiary education in the local universities, are moulding the future...
I'm very proud of them, they've grown up to become level headed adults who have pertinent views on issues, who are not at all afraid to voice out how they feel ( can i take credit for that guys? I also not afraid to voice out my opinion ) not just for the sake of it, you know? Very proud I am, indeed.
My lovelies, don't fret, yours truly will be back here next year, then we can have another makan session, maybe this time we'll get something other than pizza....
Now that I have my medical set for old age, free medicine and free care right Ilman, Shariena and Yanti? I also have all my plastic needs covered, yes Ain? Afiq has all my IT needs covered.....And Miss K and Z can always come teach my kids, just need to find a lawyer and accountant...
Anyhoo, I love you guys! Please do come... Disneyland's waiting for ya!!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Then one by one things started falling apart. First, the car that I had booked was stolen and I had to wait till raya eve to confirm that I had a repalcement car. Then my seamstress called to say that my baju could not be ready by Raya coz she had fallen ill and was unable to jahit my baju. Then my Pa in Law was admitted to the hospital for infection of his dialysis point.
All I could do was, what else? Cry lah, me being the cengeng wedok that I am. But everything turned out ok I guess. On raya morning, Mak had dialysis so me and Far went to visit our dad. Miss him I do. But we had fun with our 'conversation' with him.
After that I went to fetch Ma in Law to the hospital. What happened there irritated the crap out of me. Let me tell you, I was to bring Mak around that afternoon, so when we went to the kubur, we were not dressed for raya lah, I was in jeans and a blouse. So was Farah. After i dropped farah off, MBB and I went to the hospital. To cut a long story short, i waited bloody long for the outlaws to come. The worst part was, PIL was so eager to go home but these people just took their own sweet time to come. When they finally came, they were all dressed up in their fancy schmancy raya clothes and yours truly was in jeans!
You tell me pissed or not? Raya some more, Chet!
So as a result, my time to start bringing Mak around was of course cut short lah! Bloody toads! No respect for other people's time but, the next day when we were a little late, their faces, blacker that the wok's piku! Like I cared!
Anyhow, the rest of my raya went on uneventful. For that I'm grateful.
On another note, I have been slowly and very reluctantly packing my stuff. giving away clothes, deciding what things to be given to who, what things to bring along, what to leave behind.... everytime I do this, tears just roll..... Feels like giving away your life like that.....
Well, this is the start of something new... Next week potential tenants will start coming to see the house. I'm getting a family from the US... How exciting....
To all, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The point is, I have received the confirmation. This should start my ball rolling.
It sure has put me on an emotional rollercoaster. I am finding it so hard to let my lovelies know. How do I assure them? How do I convince them that it'll be alright?
So now, so many things to do, so many details to work out and cover, so overwhelming.
But it is definitely the start of something new.......
Monday, September 10, 2007
Yummy Donuts. The shop's name that is. Only the bluberry donut tasted a little funky. The rest were aptly named so. I especially like the almond choc one. The chocolate was heavenly and the almonds were plenty. Yummy yummy yummy!!!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
It has made me waaaay excited. It has also made me very very apprehensive. It has made me worry. It has made my hands tremble. It has made my heart go faster.
How to react? How to? How to?
P/S: Snowball, you know what I'm talking about. Just between us ok? I'm not ready to talk.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Initially quite upset by the fact that we'll not have our customary hotel stay and wonderful dinner, I quickly got over it as I was swept into the festivities of the wedding.
The next day MBB surprised me with a bouquet of lilies. I felt a little bad as I had not gotten him anything but i broke lah darling. Year end I get you something ok?Ayang, I know I give you a lot of grief about many things, but to me, it's a sign that I still care. I think when the time comes that I don't bother anymore, it'll be a sad sad day. For all that grief and more grief to come, I sincerely do apologise. Thank you for bringing meaning and brightness into my life. Although you know what I really want in my life now, I thank you for understanding that you might also not ever get it. Thank you for being there when things were really bad. Thank you for being there when I had thought it was the end of the world. Thank you for holding my hand and making it all ok. Thank you Ayang. I love you.
To my kakis reading this, I know, come get bucket from me ok?
Sunday, September 02, 2007
We also had the 3 Amigos specially carriaged in from the Wild West. They proclaimed that they would sing any song we requested. But when I wanted them to do Pussycat Dolls' DonCha, they sang some country road song by a dead fella. Humph! But they were funny! They could even do the oh-so-brokeback pelvic thrusts after the song.... hehehehe
And by the way, the food was good!! The dessert was excellent too. There was also terrbly wonderful wonderful salmon, which I think Fiza got drunk on.... hahahah.... After dinner, we had a wind down session of bitching, fries, grumblings, shiok coffee and plenty of bengs and lian...... hahahah.... All in all, it was a good night. My sincerest thanx goes to our school's SWC, especially the little red indian chief.
Happy Teachers' Day y'all!!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Perhaps, this is God's way of letting me have a taste of what parents go through when their precious sons have to undergo NS. You think?
Monday, August 06, 2007
The parenting bit of the workshop gave me a ta pau back that I think I should pay some attention to. It said, "Surround yourself with positive energies, if there are people who when they come to you are always whining and always full of complaints, if these people drag you down and drain you of your energy, DISTANCE YOURSELF."
Wise words. Zak, it's time, no?
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
If the answer to ALL these questions is YES, then you tell me lah, is it stress?
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Mozart's "Dalla Sua Pace", an aria from his opera "Don Giovanni"
The original Italian:
Dalla sua pace la mia dipende;
Quel che a lei piace vita mi rende,Quel che le incresce morte mi dà.
S'ella sospira, sospiro anch'io;È mia quell'ira, quel pianto è mio;
E non ho bene, s'ella non l'ha.
The English translation:
On her peace mine depends;
What makes her happy brings me life,
What makes her sad brings me death.
If she sighs, I sigh too;
It is mine that anger, those tears are mine;
And I have no peace if she does not.
How true I thought this is of my relationship with HER. Unfortunately, sometimes, in HER pursuit for harmony, for affirmation, I get rendered speechless... Sometimes, the people we love the most, are the most difficult to love.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
To you who has been happiliy helping yourself to my seat, go on, use it, but just DON'T go and itchy fingers and adjust here and there lah!! Haiyah!
Friday, May 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
I mean, my life is brilliant right now, I have a really nice although messy hole in the sky that I call home, I have my mum, who is, other than the fact suffering from end-stage renal failure, a really great and strong woman whom I love to bits, I have my brother and sister whom i love terribly although they sometimes they are the ones who are the most difficult to love...heh. Then there is my husband, who is my pillar of strength, my conscience, my soul. The one who saves my from my endless sleepwalking escapades, who ends up not getting enough sleep as well.... and of course my wonderful extended family and friends.
I have a great and wonderful but thankless job that I unfortunately love. Nothing picks me up like when the kids' faces suddenly lights up when something I just said makes sense to them. As I said, my life is brilliant.
Recently I met someone.
I am very dismayed at how not strong the person is. Especially in the capacity that this person is in. I had an encounter with this person that makes me question how this person makes decision. Then another incident happened and this person never bounced back from it. I know I probably don't have the whole story, but to my understanding, this incident led to this person completely giving up. I mean GIVE UP. If it is just because of that, I ought to give this person a kick in his John Brown hind parts.
The following may sound like I'm whining, but let me assure you that IT IS NOT a journey of resentment. I lost my dad ( read: he died ) my only ally, when I was 14. I had to work and put myself through school. Sure, I became an idiotic teen, but which adolescent didn't? Then when I grew up and finally started working, I thought I can finally let my mum enjoy life after having to work so hard when my dad died. Then we found out that she has end stage renal failure! Imagine what a blow that was. I really thought that she was going to die. So now, other than the stresses of work, I have a bag of worry EVERYTIME she goes for her dialysis on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays. The dialysis nurses always tell me that there had been cases where patients just collapse and die during dialysis because their hearts cannot take it. So much for comforting me right??? Let's not even get started on the financial implications of her treatments.
Then I had 3 miscarriages. Effectively, I would have had 3 kids, the oldest would have been 5 this year. Then I found that I have diabetes. Then we found out that MBB's nose isn't working so well and is in dire need of an overhaul. Sigh.... They say when it rains, it pours huh?
Now, if I had let all these get me down, I probably would have died already. So when I heard the reason this person just wants to give up, I completely lost all respect for him. If everytime something difficult comes around, you run, then, my dear, you will be running for the rest of your life.
Well I wish you all the best. May your life be easier from here on.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
They had fun. I know it'll be an experience for them. They had so much fun that they refused to get out of the pool when it came time to go. So now I owe them a trip to the pool. When we decided to take them and was allowed to, we rented a family car, packed them into it and made a day of it. I was happy. It felt like I had a real family. It felt like i was just like my other friends who all brought their broods to the party.
I love MBB and how he understands when I get upset about that which I don't have. I love it when he tells me that as long as there's the two of us, we've got the world and all it's charms...... as long as there's the two of us.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
I think I need to pester MBB for a baby. The four-wheeled kind. Heheh...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting...
Words of the Dixie Chicks ring in my ear. That's precisely what me and MBB are feeling at this moment. We have apparently been big fat suckers. Doesn't it suck when the realisation hits you right between the eyes? You just realise what a fool you've been all this time. So now with nary a shred of dignity, I do pull out from this very very deceptively warm and loving realtionship. So now with the heaviest of heart, I do say Thank You.
Never again. Even though I really love the 2 small ones, NEVER AGAIN.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
All I want to say to you now is, Good Luck, May you prosper in how small you are.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
My classes are alright. My senior class while very resistant initially are now a joy to be with. Granted that they are a little slow and NOT AT ALL prepared for the major exam they are to sit for, they are definitely very very willing to learn. I thought it a bit wierd that they are so clueless about their major exam. Sigh, poor kids, but we all know who ought to be shot right?
My middle class are my darling from last year,so they are very in tune with my style of teaching. So quite easy fo me to instruct them. Now that I think about it, my middle class is more atuned to the fact that they will be sitting for PSLE.......
My junior class is just the best. I love them, going into that class makes me happy. I taught some of them when they were just starting out and getting them again is great!
BTW, I have an interesting evening planned out tonight......
I had the opportunity to drive around last weekend. It was a wonderful feeling! I enjoyed it so much, I did not want to return the car. This coming weekend, managed to rent another car, so off I go again!! Hurray!!
I was informed that our MT dept will have another Immersion. I have another shot at China again!!
Well, as I have said, so far s good!!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
This was the cause of my excitement.
Isn't it just gorgeous? MBB says it's a good sign. I hope he's right.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!