Monday, April 16, 2007

That Which Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger

There are many things that people go through in life that either make or break them.

I mean, my life is brilliant right now, I have a really nice although messy hole in the sky that I call home, I have my mum, who is, other than the fact suffering from end-stage renal failure, a really great and strong woman whom I love to bits, I have my brother and sister whom i love terribly although they sometimes they are the ones who are the most difficult to love...heh. Then there is my husband, who is my pillar of strength, my conscience, my soul. The one who saves my from my endless sleepwalking escapades, who ends up not getting enough sleep as well.... and of course my wonderful extended family and friends.

I have a great and wonderful but thankless job that I unfortunately love. Nothing picks me up like when the kids' faces suddenly lights up when something I just said makes sense to them. As I said, my life is brilliant.

Recently I met someone.

I am very dismayed at how not strong the person is. Especially in the capacity that this person is in. I had an encounter with this person that makes me question how this person makes decision. Then another incident happened and this person never bounced back from it. I know I probably don't have the whole story, but to my understanding, this incident led to this person completely giving up. I mean GIVE UP. If it is just because of that, I ought to give this person a kick in his John Brown hind parts.

The following may sound like I'm whining, but let me assure you that IT IS NOT a journey of resentment. I lost my dad ( read: he died ) my only ally, when I was 14. I had to work and put myself through school. Sure, I became an idiotic teen, but which adolescent didn't? Then when I grew up and finally started working, I thought I can finally let my mum enjoy life after having to work so hard when my dad died. Then we found out that she has end stage renal failure! Imagine what a blow that was. I really thought that she was going to die. So now, other than the stresses of work, I have a bag of worry EVERYTIME she goes for her dialysis on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays. The dialysis nurses always tell me that there had been cases where patients just collapse and die during dialysis because their hearts cannot take it. So much for comforting me right??? Let's not even get started on the financial implications of her treatments.

Then I had 3 miscarriages. Effectively, I would have had 3 kids, the oldest would have been 5 this year. Then I found that I have diabetes. Then we found out that MBB's nose isn't working so well and is in dire need of an overhaul. Sigh.... They say when it rains, it pours huh?

Now, if I had let all these get me down, I probably would have died already. So when I heard the reason this person just wants to give up, I completely lost all respect for him. If everytime something difficult comes around, you run, then, my dear, you will be running for the rest of your life.

Well I wish you all the best. May your life be easier from here on.


Anonymous said...

I, for one, know first hand the trials and tribulations you've been through. I was there. But, your strength is exemplary! I don't know if I can ever be that strong, but hey, I've survived 9 years away from home and on my own. If there's one thing I learnt, is that you have to always be grateful for what you know, and not fret about what you don't. Heck, if I'm gonna fret about every LV bag I don't have and every Benz I don't drive, I'd go mad!!!

mdmtiahuliz said...

Hey, I'm just a nobody. I am very very short. But i am happy.

gingerena said...

my sweetie...
LIFE doubt abt it.
HE, who cannot survive a stone being thrown at his face, is A NOBODY. We, will matter how many bricks hit our face. REMEMBER, build a house with the bricks people threw at us.

MBB is so sweet isn't he? AS sweet as LUKE, and as sweet as PS. No worries...yours will come when it's due. if not, at least there's still the 2 of you :) I think it applies to me as well..heh heh...

tscd said...

That is so true - if one can just give up and wallow in despair, or have a good cry and move on.

I'm sad to read about your miscarriages. It must have been a painful time for you. Is there any particular reason how this came to be?