Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
I mean, my life is brilliant right now, I have a really nice although messy hole in the sky that I call home, I have my mum, who is, other than the fact suffering from end-stage renal failure, a really great and strong woman whom I love to bits, I have my brother and sister whom i love terribly although they sometimes they are the ones who are the most difficult to love...heh. Then there is my husband, who is my pillar of strength, my conscience, my soul. The one who saves my from my endless sleepwalking escapades, who ends up not getting enough sleep as well.... and of course my wonderful extended family and friends.
I have a great and wonderful but thankless job that I unfortunately love. Nothing picks me up like when the kids' faces suddenly lights up when something I just said makes sense to them. As I said, my life is brilliant.
Recently I met someone.
I am very dismayed at how not strong the person is. Especially in the capacity that this person is in. I had an encounter with this person that makes me question how this person makes decision. Then another incident happened and this person never bounced back from it. I know I probably don't have the whole story, but to my understanding, this incident led to this person completely giving up. I mean GIVE UP. If it is just because of that, I ought to give this person a kick in his John Brown hind parts.
The following may sound like I'm whining, but let me assure you that IT IS NOT a journey of resentment. I lost my dad ( read: he died ) my only ally, when I was 14. I had to work and put myself through school. Sure, I became an idiotic teen, but which adolescent didn't? Then when I grew up and finally started working, I thought I can finally let my mum enjoy life after having to work so hard when my dad died. Then we found out that she has end stage renal failure! Imagine what a blow that was. I really thought that she was going to die. So now, other than the stresses of work, I have a bag of worry EVERYTIME she goes for her dialysis on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays. The dialysis nurses always tell me that there had been cases where patients just collapse and die during dialysis because their hearts cannot take it. So much for comforting me right??? Let's not even get started on the financial implications of her treatments.
Then I had 3 miscarriages. Effectively, I would have had 3 kids, the oldest would have been 5 this year. Then I found that I have diabetes. Then we found out that MBB's nose isn't working so well and is in dire need of an overhaul. Sigh.... They say when it rains, it pours huh?
Now, if I had let all these get me down, I probably would have died already. So when I heard the reason this person just wants to give up, I completely lost all respect for him. If everytime something difficult comes around, you run, then, my dear, you will be running for the rest of your life.
Well I wish you all the best. May your life be easier from here on.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
They had fun. I know it'll be an experience for them. They had so much fun that they refused to get out of the pool when it came time to go. So now I owe them a trip to the pool. When we decided to take them and was allowed to, we rented a family car, packed them into it and made a day of it. I was happy. It felt like I had a real family. It felt like i was just like my other friends who all brought their broods to the party.
I love MBB and how he understands when I get upset about that which I don't have. I love it when he tells me that as long as there's the two of us, we've got the world and all it's charms...... as long as there's the two of us.