Friday, March 31, 2006

Attitude Adjustment

Today I told a colleague this,

"... Before you can start to change or disciplne these supposedly naughty children, you must become their friend first. You must get their respect. To do that, you gotta respect them first. When they respect and like you, they will do ANYTHING for you..."

Good advice I feel. A personal mantra. After talking to this colleague, I felt damned old. As it turns out, this colleague knew who my brother is. That invariably made me feel even older.

Maybe it's about time I accepted the fact that I am, well, old. I guess this past week, I have not only been hormonal but also rather reflective. I realise that calling another stupid, does not make me any smarter. Calling another an ass does not make me any wiser. Being mean to another does not get me anywhere.

I have decided that I will have an attitude adjustment, without comprimising ME. I have decided that I will be diplomatic and like everybody. All except one. This one does not deserve my sympathy.

Anyway, moving on, I had another lesson this afternoon. Before that, I managed to clear quite a bit of my marking. Now, I'm watching LOST.....

Tomorrow shall be another LOOOONG day.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Hormonal, I am or Are They?

My P6 kids just had a singing competition. I think my boys did pretty well. I will give them a treat. While they are my 'angels' in class, they are the ones who step up each and every time. Thank you boys! I am very very proud of you!

With regards to this particular competition, I have a few unhappiness I have to air.

1. While I understand that you are frustrated that the mics were malfunctioning, the necessary cds were unclear and not working, it was not professional of you to shout at me to ask me to introduce the group that was performing next. The cd was not ready and the mic not working. How was I to do the intro? Shout? Sorry. I will not.

2. While it is frustrating that the cds were not working properly, you should not have shouted at the teacher, asking why she bought such an inferior cd. Firstly, it was not the teacher's. Secondly, when the cd was used yesterday, it was fine. I can attest to that.

3. The mics were not functioning. Any sane human being, faced with that, will try to find a solution right? I reckon this will be especially so if you are the so-called AVA teacher in charge. But today, di depan mataku, I saw, a so-called AVA teacher in charge just stand there, probably waiting for a miracle to happen. I mean, what lah?

4. I am a little upset that the Em3 kids were not able to watch their friends perform. I know that they are probably a little disappointed. Sorry kids, I can't say next time, this being your last year and all. Sigh...

In any event, there are bound to be cock ups. But it is very unprofessional and terribly rude to be shouting at another colleague in front of everyone. Should avoid doing that... especially if you want to be a leader and be in this service for the long haul.

Just another thing, yours truly, was uber cool today. I did not flare up. I did not raise my voice. I did not bang table. I really dunno...... Is it the hormones? I'm sure MBB would want my gynae to refill my prescription. Heh.

Monday, March 27, 2006


I'm soooo looking forward to this. The problem is, I have not been able to find a cinema that's showing it! I know GV Yishun was showing but when I checked the showtimes today, it wasn' t there anymore. boo hoo hoo. So now I'm waiting waiting and waiting for the DVD to come out. Release it already!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

No, Zak, It's NOT The End Of The World

No matter how you try to justify it, having 3 pairs of eyes staring at you where the sun don't shine and I reckon 2 fingers inside you poking and prodding to ensure that your uterus is not injured, leaves you feeling a little less dignified. I had to endure that and right now, I think about 65% of my dignity has been thrown out into the toxic waste bin at KK Women and Children's Hospital together with the blood soaked bed lining that I was on.

As if to add insult to injury, some of the nurses, while preparing me for the D&C procedure were in disbelief while asking me,"You mean you didn't even know you were pregnant?". I was not particularly interested in explaining to everyone who asked but I did, from my irregular menses to the 30 bloody days of bleeding....

What were they thinking? Did they not think that I would have taken the necessary precautions to prevent yet another miscarriage? I mean... I do understand that you work in a gynaecologically based hospital and cases like mine are essentially your daily dealings and you are probably so damned bloody used to it, but I'M NOT.... so have some heart and sympathy why don't you? I do want a baby. I do get upset with how crappy my lower body is functioning. I have this overwhelming maternal feeling with no offspring to off load it on.

Also, with all the hormon pills I have to take, I'm extremely hormonal. I can be so weepy, so angry, so giggly all in a span of a minute! The slightest thing can just set me off, and my MBB has been getting the brunt of it. Sorry Ayang. Tomorrow morning at 4am, he'll be leaving me to go to work.... maybe it'll be good for him to get away from me for a few hours.

And then to rub salt into my wound, the medical officer on call said that "we needed to tackle the weight issue as you are, morbidly obese..." without even so much as batting an eyelid. "Morbidly obese" literally translates into "gemuk nak mampos" in Malay. How? Talk about brutal honesty. Ya lah, I know, I need to lose weight. Ok lah.... I shall work out a nutrional enhancement for myself. I shall go and check out how Kirstie Alley lost all her weight...

After the week's events, I have decided that it will not be the end of the world if I cannot have any children. In my earnest desire to have a child, I must ensure that I do not sacrifice things that I have got going for me. Especially MBB. I have to realise that he is the most important part of wanting kids. I also have to realise that my mummy is sick and she is my no. 1 priority. I have to be well for her. I have to be.

There's always adoption.


On a different note,

Have you ever seen a lizard crap? I have. Seriously. Earlier this evening, I was cleaning my bathtub. By that I mean, I was using the showerhead to wash away the grime that was supposedly absorbed by this new thing called "BANG". It works quite well I must say. Anyhow, just after I washed away all the mixture, and the tub was white and clean and shiny, from the sky ( literally ) dropped this small piece of black gunk. I looked up and saw a lizard. Upon closer inspection, I realised it was lizard crap!

I was so mad, I launched into Operation Kill Lizard! Needles to say, lizard is now dead and has been washed into my drainage pipe! Strangely, with depleted dignity, I feel a wonderful sense of bliss after killing the lizard. Natural born killer, I am?

Saturday, March 18, 2006

The End of The Hols

It was not much of a holiday anyway. What with assignments to do, essays to grade, books to mark.... aaarrgghh...!!! Today we had a meeting. That was followed with yet more meetings... More work to be done, as Kak Jo says, it's getting tougher at work everyday. You are so right darling!!

During the meeting I took this picture.

I like to take photos au natural. Unposed. In this photo they look like they are in deep conversation, oblivious to the world around. So nice right....?

This meeting signalled our coming back to school. So, with bated breath, I wait for the monday to come around.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Mission Accomplished

I had to drag myself out of bed this morning to complete my halfway done assignment on eating disorders. After unsuccessfully convincing MBB to take the day off, I sat at my desk with my mood all foul. Decided that I needed sustenance, I scoured my pantry for coffee. I found a solitary satchet of Indocafe kopi. Made that and dunked Hup Seng biscuits into it.... super shiok, especially the soddy mess that settles in your kopi after dunking many biscuits in it. Heh.

Time : 9.52 am

I, full of gusto and Hup Seng biscuits, picked up where I left last night. As I got into my essay, my darling meow, settled into her corner, stretched and slept.... I thought she just woke up.

12.45 noon
I'm 95% done. Just have to do a run through and see if I want to add anything to it and of course type my references. Felt a little bit hungry. So I shared this with my darling meow.

3.17 pm

My assignment is done!! Yeaaayyy!!! And what do you know, my darling meow also has awaken.

So I'm off to have a shower and then to NIE to send it in. What shall I do after that? Whatever it is... I'm glad the assignment's done.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

A Day At The Library

Yours truly spent about 5 hours in the library from 11 to 4 today. Why? I was doing research for a paper due tomorrow. I went to the library fresh and after gathering a few reference books, I found myself a seat at a desk and I dove right into anorexic nervosa and bullimia.

After 3 hours of definitions and signs and symptomps, my marginal returns was on a down curve. I was getting a major migraine. My focus was waning.... my eyes got drowsy..... I put my head down for about 15 mins and actually fell asleep. All the memories from school came flooding back. Heh. I remember now why I stopped becoming a student.

Anyhow, after the nap, I managed to wake myself up and finished up my research. Now I'm home, downloading articles from the internet and feeling sleepy again. After Maghrib, I shall start typing my essay. Till then, I shall go catch some zzzs.......

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

It Just Died

2nd lesson today. Not too shabby, though I made my DA loose his cool a little. Heh But after a while it was alright. MBB was on leave today, so he saw me off. He was so proud of me he said that he lumped in is throat. So sweet the man right?

Anyhow, before I went for lessons, while in our study, MBB's phone died. Just like that. Even after the both of us tinkered with it, we could not figure out what was wrong. MBB started to get a little upset because that was his cari makan phone ( read: working phone ) It is on that phone that the US office would call him. Small wonder why MBB was upset. So we deciced to go get an interim phone while waiting for the Nokia 6125 to be released.

I must say that I was secretly quite happy that the phone died. No more calls from the office.YaaY!!

After a lot of considerations, we decided to get this.

The Motorola V3. Was hoping the black one was out of stock so that we could get the pink one, so I can use the pink phone when he got his 6125. But that was not to be. Sigh... the black one it is then. But see my picture on the phone? Heh.

Since I could not get the pink phone, I went to look at books. After browsing for a bit, MBB got a Dilbert book ( he just loves them ) and I saw a book that so caught my eye. It's called "I am a Cat" by Soseki Natsume.

"... a nonchalant string of anecdotes and wisecracks, told by a fellow ( a kitten! ) who doesn't have a name, and has never caught a mouse, and isn't much good for anything except watching human beings in action..." - The New Yorker

I immediately thought of my cat. Heh. I got the book but have not started on it yet. I have an assignment to finish. Due on Thursday. Aaaargghh!!!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

On A High

I'm on a high today. Why? I actually drove a car on the roads today. I was quite a decent driver. Even my instructor says so. Yes, it was my 1st practical lesson. 6 months is all I have.... Must work hard.

Anyhow, today was Eat With Your Family Day @ Citibank. So MBB got off work at 5.30. So, Every 2nd Friday of the month, MBB gets to leave early. I love that. We met at Suntec ( Again! ). Had dinner at Ichiban Boshi. I had Sansai Soba and MBB had Tempura Soba. Yummy yum yum.... Then we shared the Saba Shioyaki. I like their version. Not dry at all. After dinner, we went to Marina ( Again! ). MBB said that we had not finished exploring the third floor.

Then we ended up buying this.

I really love these. From Crocs.The blue one's mine and MBB got the black one. They are very comfy. I thought they'd be quite appropriate for my learning journey tomorrow. Right now, MBB is convincing himself that he will wear it. I shall let him be.Heh.

Incidentally, my floor looks quite nice ya?

Really looking forward to the next 2nd Friday of next month....

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Of Shades And Burgers

I got me 2 new pair of sunnies today. MBB and I were up and about in town today. A rarity in itself. I had wanted to get them new shades for the longest time. And I wanted those oversized Erra Fazira kind. So after watching Nanny Mcphee, which incidentally is a wonderful show ( we loved it!! Emma Thompson and Collin Firth, were brilliant as usual....sigh..... ), we trawled through the shops at Suntec for my sunnies. The were many on sale but few that struck my fancy. Those that did would have paid for my cable tv for the next 2 months! I just don't get why their prices are so exorbitant. There was a Gucci one that I liked which cost $274 after a 50% discount! What a turn off that was....

So the trawling continued and we ended up across the street at the newly renovated Marina shopping centre. Just on an off tangent, I just don't get some members of my community. I went pass Carl's Junior, which is a new fast food outlet at Marina which sells, hey guess what? BURGERS & FRIES which is, incidentally also sold at Mac's, KFC, Long John Silvers.... What did I see in this new joint? A Malay family - mum, dad, 2 beautiful young girls apparently enjoying a great big Carl's burger. Not Halal right? What kind of values are you teaching your kids? So many Halal burgers, yang Haram jugak yang korang cari..... haiz....... If you choose to langgar the Haram & the Halal, I guess that's your perogative lah, your kubur, you answer. But your kids?

So anyway, back to my sunnies..... We walked through Marina, there were a lot of shops. There was a whole that had shops that were meant for people 2 age groups before me.... made us realise that we were on the wrong floor..Heh... I was about ready to give up and go home when MBB pointed out to me an Evita Peroni shop. Into the shop we went and I was most excited to find 2 that I particularly liked! Not able to decide which one I wanted, I got both lah... At the cashier's, I found out 1 had a 30% discount. Yaaay!

I very the pleased now... : ) So how do I look? Can or not?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

This Is The Beginning

I did it! I finally did it. I got my Provisional Driving License, registered for my Final Theory Test and worked out my practicals. I'm giving myself 6 months to do this. I have to do it in 6 months. 6 months all I've got... Haven't you figured it out? I'm psyching myself up..... All together now, 6 months, 6 months, 6 months.... Johnson, I'm taking you up on your offer for theory lessons.....

So people, wish me luck!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Just You and Me Baby

Ok ok... I'm on a journey of self pity. Who else is supposed to pity me if not myself? MBB sent me this sms a few hours ago.

Will be late... Pls have dinner and not wait for me...

Sigh.... After my little tyranny yesterday, I had expected that he'll be back earlier today. Alas... this is apparently not going to be the case.

Well, Baby ( that's my cat ) it's just gonna be you and me tonight. It's like she already knows that MBB will not be comng back anytime soon. MBB does not allow her to stay in the room when he's home. Allergies. When I came home, she rushed into the room and plonked herself in that small corner next to my shelving unit and just slightly behind my laptop. That's her corner. When it's just us, when there's guests, when there are things that she asesses to be threatening to her well being, that's where she'll be. Most days, she'll just be there keeping me company.

My worksheets have found their way out of my bag. So now, armed with my Pilot red pen, I am ready to mark the night away. Baby, you ready?

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing

Yesterday MBB came home late. As usual. It was almost 11 pm. Sigh... Our routine is this. I leave the house at 6.30 am, when it's still terribly, terribly dark. MBB on the other hand is still comfortably snoring away, tucked under the faux suede comforter. Rightfully so, given that he only got home at 11pm the night before and after an hour of winding down, he'll only crawl into bed by midnight. On top of that, he is a light sleeper and wakes up a few times in the middle of the night, partly thanx to yours truly, who is also a light sleeper.

Then we get through the day and I am home usually by 8pm but MBB is still in the thick of things at work. So by the time he gets home, my eyelids have turned to lead. While MBB winds down, I'm halfway sailing to La-La Land.

See the problem? This is why my weekends are EXTREMELY precious to me. Hence the resentment if I am expected to work through the weekend!

Back to yesterday.... When MBB came home, he told me his management is exploring the possibility of shift work. There'll be 3 shifts, Morning - 7 to 5, Normal - 8.30 to 6.30, Late - 11 - 8.30. When I heard it, I got a little mad. Why? Because this arrangement gave me hope.

False Hope.

It made me believe that he would be able to come home give and take an hour, so I expect that I'd have him to myself by 7. It made me believe that there'll be more time spent with him.But the sad reality is that he will still be at the office way after 5. The only good thing I see about this shift thing is that on days he works the late shift, he'll be able to sleep in a little more.

Now, I am optimistic to the point of being annoying. Especially because most that surround me are cynics who see the glass as half empty. But for the case in point, even I, the ever optimist, cannot see the my situation improving.

Am I being unreasonable? Am I being a difficult wife? Am I not trying hard enough to understand the demands of his job?

Right now, I just do not know.


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Let's Take A Moment

I'm battling one bitch of a migraine that is making me puke my guts out and leaving me deaf in one ear and a little bit sight impaired. All this because my darlings mostly scored 7-9 out of 18 for their comprehension exercise! It sickens me to the pit of my stomach coz I know they can do it!

How do I motivate them?

How do I get them to do their work coz they want to do it well and not just pay lip service?

How am I going to get my A and A* at the end of the year?


I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off....... I'm going to take me a moment and enjoy my caramel macchiato. But migraine can drink coffee?