Isn't it a Wonder?

A reason why I had abandoned this blog of mine was that I began to wonder whoever actually reads my cleverly crafted words....even if I have to say so myself. Hah! Then I thought, does it really matter that no one reads it? So I have decided that I shall continue to write as a means to let out that which cannot be said in words. Ya?

An Attempt At Ressurrection

Busy, I have been. Abandoned life...or something like it, I have. So it is with great ambition that I have decided to attempt to breathe some life back into this pages where I rant and rave... Come on this journey with me, won't ya?

We're back in Sg. Alam got the golden handshake. Actually it wasn't golden, in fact there was no handshake at all. There was only an immediate notice, after which he was promptly accompanied out of the building. Security reasons, they said. They were so lucky it was Alam they were handling. If it had been yours truly, some tables would have been banged and some colourful expletives would definitely have come out.

Oh well. So after packing up our stuff and settling all administrative matters and after a wonderful visit by the divine ms O, we flew back on what may be our last flight from HK for the time being.

I returned to service. Posted to Alam's alma mater. How's that for cruel irony? As Alam began his job hunt here, I thought, so funny life is lah... now table's turned and I'm working while he's resting at home getting the rest he deserves.

Now, after 5 months of being back, Alam has gotten a new job, I have semi adjusted to the groove of the new school. All things considered, life as I know it is back to normal...

Hot Stuff

Ok, ok, so I admit it. I hate the heat. Well, I like some heat. On a cold rainy day heat from a hot mug of coffee is wonderful. On a cold winter's night, heat from the hug of a loved one is heavenly. BUT the heat we are having now is just painful. Look at the poor bloke waiting for the bus in the picture. I took this not very much of a picture while standing at the window having an internal debate as to whether I should go to the supermarket to buy the pangasius fillet to prepare and serve with my fried rice for dinner... Can you see just how hot it bloody is?? It seriously is not the kind of sunshine you'd want to bask yourself in and feel it's warmth hug you and make you feel oh so good. Seriously.

Now, it's great to have a nice rosy glow on the cheek and a wonderful tan on the skin, no? Unfortunately, yours truly have retarded skin. It doesn't tan, it burns. Not the burning that indicates that you've been spending days on the beach and surfing in the sea, but the burn you get when you've been charred in a fire. Ok, so I'm stretching it a bit, but you get the idea. I don't become a healthy red, I turn black. Not only that, my skin retains all the heat it has absorb and stores it for a long, long, long time. For instance, I firmly believe that I can still feel the heat I subjected myself to when I went to the market last thursday. I kid you not.

www.hko.hk today indicated that the temperature today is 33 deg. Scorching. How did I survive so long living in Sg? I think Sg is very humid and that allows the body to sweat and have a natural cooling mechanism. Incidentally, I don't like to sweat, which is probably why I'm fat. In Hk, it's relatively dry, which explains why my lips are cracking all the time, so not much of sweating goes on. At least from what I see of the HK-ers. Also, back in Sg, more often that not, I'm usually in a classroom which is well ventilated or in the staff room which is airconditioned so it wasn't too bad.

I cannot wait for the weather to cool off a bit. Last year, it was only this hot in August. This year it started in July. So hopefully, the cool will start earlier too? *Keeping fingers crossed*

Oh, in case you were wondering, pangasius is a fish. Depending on which continent from which it was caught, I could either be eating a catfish or a shark.

Rest Well

Some close friends of ours suffered a loss recently. One of the beloved pet had passed on. I hope they find the strength within themselves to one day remember that wonderful feline that had brought them many laughs without feeling too sad. Our thoughts are with you guys.

I'm reminded of when I lost my cat. Baby, I called her. She was most gentle and beautiful but very standoffish..:O) Her expressions most days said only one thing, which was, 'you can look at me, I'm beautiful, I know, but please, do not touch me..' I swear I saw her rolling her eyes once...

I saw her last when I went back to Sg for a visit in May 08. She subsequently passed on on Sept 11th the same year. A drama queen right till the end, even the date that she left was dramatic. I miss her much. She was always there when Alam worked late and he worked late plenty. She was always there when I had to stay up through the night to work on assignments or last minute projects. She was always there. Unconditional love. She'll come alive when she heard her can of food being opened, or when she found a new toy to play with. When she was older she was just happy to be sprawling around doing absolutely nothing. Baby was very old for a cat. She was at least 20. That's super old apparently. Cats' life expectancy is usually 13-15 years. My Baby had lived a long life. She was the source of endless laughter for me and my family. I liked it when I thought she was missing and would more often than not, find her in one of my bags...:O) I liked it when Hari Raya neared, and me and mak were making the ketupats, she'd be busying herself with lying on the leaves and Alam would tease her with the vein of the leaf....Good times.

Well, my dear Baby, rest well. We'll meet again one day, you and I. Till then, Sayler'll keep you company.

Back From The Dead - Again!

And so it is that I have had mixed feelings about abandoning my blog. To close or not to close. Then I thought, if I did, I'd miss writing, surely... So, what the heck, let's give it another go, shall we? :O)

Since I had last dusted myself off, plenty of things have happened. Some good, some really really not, so good. The worst was, I had another miscarriage. I was 12 weeks pregnant. Saying that seems really strange to me. I have been pregnant but nothing to show for it really, other than plenty of pills attempting to soothe my pains. Can they? Really? Soothe my pains? The physical pain, it definitely does but other than that.... Time heals everything?

I have been thinking a lot lately about my life. About how it has come to be what it is today. I have been thinking a lot lately about my family. About how it has come to be what it is today. I have been thinking a lot lately about Alam and I. About how we have become what we are today. And what have I come to realize? That nothing we expect actually really happens. That nothing we plan really goes the way we do. That the only thing we know for sure is that LIFE is one hell of a ride and all we can do is enjoy it, with all it's ups and downs, all the while being there for the ones we love.

Which brings me to my next point.

I have grown up with the concept of unconditional love. Especially when you are a family. To me, as long as you are a part of a family, you'll always be loved, no matter what you did or did not do, no matter who you were and what you've become. I have learnt in the hardest of ways that this, isn't always the case. See what I mean about things not being the way we expect them to be?

I had expected that family are the only people that I'd be able to count on for ANYTHING. I had expected family to be there for me when I was down, just as I would for them. I had expected family to be happy for me, celebrating my successes, just I would with them. I had expected family to love me, just as I would, them. I certainly did not expect family to say the things they did. I did not expect family to behave the way they did and I sure as hell did not expect family to be the selfish, ignorant, heartless beings that they are. Sure, they may not be my biological family, but I had thought the ties that bound us would actually mean something.

I'm naive like that.

And so it is that I have decided that I will move on. I'm getting over not having kids. I'm getting over a crappy family. I'm getting over selfish, ignorant, heartless bastards whose words don't mean shit to me.

Yayy me!

Back From the Dead??

Dusts self.......*cough* *cough*

Hot Hot Hot!

This warning was issued by the Hong Kong Observatory today.

It looks like such a happy logo, don't you think? Like something you'd see on the window of a shop selling ramen or something. I seriously AVOID leaving the house while the sun is out. You know, today the temp was registered at 34 deg celsius. But i think the intensity of the sunrays here is so very strong. Oh and it gets super bright too. Sigh.... last weekend, I went to the market. Guess what? I actually ran there and back. Ya, and yours truly have not been doing much, if not any, running.

While this warning is on, however, we are also put on the typhoon alert 1. You'd think that from 1 it'll go to 2 and so on till it gets to 10 right? But the warning starts at 1, goes to 3, jumps to 8 - at this point Alam doesn't have to go to work, then 10! That's a full blown hurricane. So wierd.Typhoon Nuri is predicted to hit HK direct this time, predicted to be much worse than the one that hit us a couple of weeks back. No matter what, I have my masking tape ready in case the alert jumps to 8.

I'm so, i don't know, excited? for lack of a more appropriate adjective that I had dreams about suddenly jumping out of bed and having to plaster the windows but my masking tape went missing!! Needless to say, I woke up hyperventilating.....sheesh!

Happy National Day Y'all!!

I just made Alam spend the past hour or so singing National Day Songs. Heh.... I miss it, I really do..... Singing National Day songs I mean. Don't tell people ok? That and the extra holiday schools get on the 10th of August. When I was teaching, I'd sit with my kids and sing at the top of my voice. The best part? I got away with it! hehehhe.... We'd start from "We have a vision for tomorrow....Just believe...Just believe..." and work our way to "This is home truly.... Where I know I must be...Where my dream wait for me...Where the river always flow..."

I just so enjoy singing these songs. Surrounded by kids wearing red, frantically waving the plastic flags in your face, you just cannot help but feel a wave of patriotism wash over you. It is during this time, and when the Majulah Singapura is sung during the National day parade that I feel extremely proud to be a Singaporean. Seriously.

This year will be a first as Alam and I celebrate National Day out of Sg. We have mixed feelings about it I guess. For me, it is also the first time I am not actively celebrating it (in school) I reckon there will be some celebrations at the Sg Embassy here but a bunch of adults singing such songs and waving plastic flags really don't appeal to me..... plus they'll know it's me contributing the terrible voice.....

Anyway, as I'm typing this, it is just past midnight, so HAPPY NATIONAL DAY EVERYONE!!!

Incidentally, on SG's National day, we're in HK.... on October 1st, HK's establishment day, we'll be in Sg...hehee..... October 1st is also hari Raya mah....

Huh???

I was back in SG a couple of days ago and had the luxury of spending sometime with my baby sister. We headed to town one day and was sitting at Coffee Bean, which is Halal now by the way, while waiting for my appointment at inuovi cosmetics. We were just sitting watching people go by... I realised that there is nothing really different between the crowds that throng the malls in HK and in SG. All are clad in designer labels, all carry arm candies of which the most popular seem to be LV. But I must say that SGeans definitely dress better than their HK counterparts. HKers tend to be more 'adventurous' when it comes to dressing, they bat no eyelashes when seeing someone in a dress that has more ropol than Ramlah Ram's or someone who has pink hair or someone who wears luminous pink shoes ( I saw this myself at City Super yesterday). I know that if the same pink shoes were worn in SG, the person wearing it would hear no end of sniggers, would receive no end of 'what were you thinking?!!' stares. I guess, HKers are more open like that.

Anyway, back to Coffee Bean, so, we were people watching when this woman caught our eyes. She was in a fitting top, almost exposing her bosom, with skin tight black pencil skirt and heels and was carrying an LV Galliera. She had funky short hair and my initial reaction is wah lau! So stylo! That is until she came closer and I saw her face..... ALAMAK!!! Tua kerepot nak mampos lah! I mean, she was definitely 55, at the very least! But hey, if you can still carry off that kind of outfit at THAT age, then by all means lah kan..... but this one cannot lah... She really looked like Mak Enon (Remember her?).

So while I was having this internal conflict and all, my baby sister spoke and we had this conversation....

BabySis: Kak! Did you see that old woman???

Me: I know!!! Wah Lau eh!!!!

BabySis: Why she so old still want to dress like that?

Me: Ya man! So not age appropriate kan?

BabySis: Dia tak takut kena rape ke?

Me: ???

BabySis: Old woman pun can kena rape tau kak.......

Me: ???

Hahahha..... that's Farah for you.... sometimes she says the funniest things. maybe because she was fasting. Is it Far??

AL - FATIHAH

That's my father in law, the late Hj Lamion bin Ahmad Ishak. I think this picture is essentially what my father in law was to me. Someone who had plenty of knowledge but never stopped learning. He'd spent hours going through the papers, going through every detail of whatever was being reported that day. He always had things to tell me, anecdotes to relate, ideas to share. After getting to know him, he learnt a thing or two from me too, mostly about food lah. Anything I brought him to try, he was game. Even when he was already not doing too good, he was still trying to learn how to use the chopsticks. I truly envy the tenacity and the enthusiasm he had when it comes to learning something new.

He was also truly diplomatic in ways he handled any situation he found himself in. Never one to raise his voice, at least whenever I observed him, he was the epitome of calm and grace. That was one of the things that I really liked about him and I am glad that Alam inherited that from him.

But the one thing that I will always remember about him is how much he loved his wife. I cannot even begin to describe how he loved her. Throughout this whole week after his passing, I have come to a realisation that everything he did was for her. I got the impression that he gave up living because he did not want to trouble her anymore.

Also in this week after his passing, a few things have come to light, some nice and some well, not so good. All that is important now is that he has moved on to where there is no longer pain from his renal failure, no longer pain from selfish human beings and no longer pain from the heartache that he suffers when seeing how some people called family behaves.

Ayah, you are in my prayers. Semoga roh Ayah dicucuri Rahmat. Semoga Ayah ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Semoga Tuhan mengampunkan segala dosa Ayah. Amin

Say A Little Prayer For Him

It is 8.15 pm and I'm sitting cross legged on the floor near gate 61 at the HKIA. I had thought a couple of days ago that I was done going to the airport. At least untill I go back for raya lah. I have not even sorted out my photos from the previous SG trip which incidentally ended 20th of July. 4 days ago..... and now 4 days later, I'm back at HKIA, waiting for my flight which has been delayed to 10.10pm back to SG.

Why am I heading back to SG so soon? Not for pleasant reasons I'm afraid. My FIL has been warded and the prognosis is grim. Docs say it is not looking too good for him. His bp is low, his pulse is erratic and the worst part of it all is that he's unconscious. It saddens me that I know for a fact that the person he would want holding his hand and sitting by his side is not there. I have watched a couple of shows and documentaries that has ascertained that people in comas can actually hear what is being said to them. They can hear it in their subconscious. I think this particular person should not be thinking of herself and other asses , she should be by my FIL's side and talking to him, comforting him, encouraging him although it might seem futile.

I'm pissed as hell that this particular person is not worried that any breath that my FIL takes might be his last. Why wouldn't she want to be with him? Does she not love him? I mean, seriously, if alam was sick, I'd rather stay home and be by his side than go to work. Oh! wait a minute! I can stay home and take care of him, I'm no longer working! But I digress......

I'm also pissed as hell that the flight has been delayed. The person checking us in was also an ass. Instead of apologising for the fact that the flight was delayed, she very nonchalantly said,' So the flight delay until 10.10 ocrock'... In broken English no less......

I pray that my FIL hangs on till we come. I hope I don't meet this particular person because in my mind, I have a really strong desire to push her. Not a pretty picture. As I've declared, I'm leaving Ms Nice in HK.......

Please say a prayer for my FIL ok?

My State of Darkness

I just don't like to get dark. I just don't. This summer sun has made me very dark. I hate it. I wrote previously that Mr Sun is no friend of mine, now I'll show you...

The lighter patch of skin there is where my watch was. No flash was used to take this picture.You tell me lah, 5 shades darker or not???!!! I can't even bring myself to show you the face. So melengit! I hereby announce that I will only leave the house at night.

Summer Love? Not So Much.

It's summer here in Hong Kong. For the past 3 days, the sun has been shining so very very brightly that I think it needs shades itself. I was prepared that it was going to be hot. I WAS NOT prepared however, that it would scorch. As a result of which, yours truly is now a horrid shade of DARK. My arms are supertanned. The part covered by my watch, is a good FIVE, yes you read FIVE!! shades lighter than my current colouring.

My face, is sunburnt. I don't have the good fortune of turning a healthy red when tanned, I just go straight from brown to black. Well, oklah, not black, just horrid dark. It's terrible. Even now, I can feel heat eminating from my face. What's worse, all this excess heat is making me sick. I'm down with flu, fever, cough, the works. I hate it! Then, as if to rub salt into the wound, the aircon in my bedroom is blowing hot air! I think the coolant's all gone.

Whoever say summer's a great season must really enjoy getting burnt by the sun. I hate it. If I had the moolah, I'll up and go to, say, Aussie or New Zealand to ride out summer.

Mr Sun, you are no friend of mine. I will only be going out at night to ensure minimal darkening process. Autumn, quickly come.....

My First Attempt

I am fooling around with Photoshop in between vacumming and mopping the floors in preparation for my darling girls to come....

First I took this photo... Ya I know, the photo, very boring. Then I tried to photoshop it.... it turned out like this...

So how? I thought it was ok.... Now if only I know how to remove my double chin without ending up looking like I have a damned huge neck!

Tsk! Tsk!

A little knowledge is surely a dangerous thing. Especially when it comes to matters of life and death. Please lah, do homework why don't you? Not everything is as simple as it seems. Don't be a lemming. Just because some lemmings do it, doesn't mean it's good. It's so irritating, minds that never think. Simply make decisions based on what others say. Simply irritating.

It's Back!

We like this Chinese Muslim restaurant on Wan Chai Rd. Since we came here, we've been there many many many times. It has a shiok selection of dishes. Very authentically chinese. We were told it was Shanghainese cuisine. No problem lah, the food is fantastic anyways. Recently, they decided to chnage the menu and make it a Cantonese restaurant. Changes are good right? NO. The food was terrible, they had this dish of fried beehoon, canto style, but it was just like beehoon fried in kunyit. So the tak sedap. We stopped going. Apparently not only us. Many of their customers also stopped coming.

Last weekend, we happened to pass the restaurant and saw that the old menu had returned! Hooray!! So we went in and had the Shangahinese Fried Noodles and the Spring Onion Chicken. So sedap! Yummm.....

We had half a chicken. The restaurant took it to mean quite literally and they even served us with half the chicken's head. It was halved right down the middle!! Things like these really gross me out. My alam dearest took the half head and put it under a bowl so that I would stop getting grossed out. So sweet he is....:-)

The Halfway Mark

It will be 6 months come this 26th since we have taken that leap of faith. Many things have happened since. In fact some things are still happening. Alam and I have adjusted to life here in HK. Though we surely miss comforts of home all the time, things here are not too shabby. Of course we didn't have the luck or luxury of getting a home here that has 9 bedrooms and 4 maids with 2 cars and chauffeurs to boot, but what we have is cosy, to say the least. It's small, which means I don't have much to clean up. My only regret is the small kitchen which means Alam and I can no longer be cooking together, something we love doing. Speaking of cooking, I have been cooking almost everyday. I'm not too bad at it. Alam is still healthy and bouts of diarrhoea have not been caused by my cuisine. For Alam, life is pretty much similar to what it has always been, work work and more work, it's just geography.

I thought now would be a good time to take stock of things. I've had my rest. I've had my catching up on me time. It's time to dust myself off and DO. I've started by housekeeping my blogspot and multiply. Updating the new stuff and deleting the old. Strengthening old re-kindled friendships, which is amazing, and throwing out toxic 'friends'. I'm surprised at how full of shit some 'friends' can be. Alam says I'm naive like that. Talking about re-kindled friendships, I realise that I have friends all over the world. Literally. These friends have made a life for themselves and not too shabbily I might add. There's a doctor in London, a securities specialist in Canada, a Queen's Council in Australia, an editor right here in HK and more... ironically, these people who have travelled the world and are such high flyers are so humble and are NOT a pretentious lot. Unlike what I have been exposed to in my wonderful world of teaching. Sigh.....

Well, As I've said, it's time to DO.

1. Take Cantonese Lessons
We had an electrical failure episode a few nights ago which could have gone so wrong if we were bad at charades or if Alam didn't have Canto speaking colleagues. After that was sorted out, we decided that I HAVE to go learn.

2. Exercise
We have decided that while we are not putting on more weight - thank goodness- we should try to lose the excess weight - and we have plenty! - that we have. So, we will be walking on saturday mornings at Victoria Park. Oh, and I am seriously considering joining a gym.

3. Cook Complex Dishes
I'm going to try to up my cooking game. Not sure how but by God, I'll surely try!

Those are my priorities at the moment. I'll revisit these in say, 3 months and I'll give you an update. In the meantime, I'm gonna go look for matresses. My lovelies are coming to town! Can't wait! Oh, and KL cannot come fast enough! Gah!

Guess Who?

Guess who's coming to town? I'm so excited! I hope all goes well!

Gastronomical Getaway.....Again!

Where almost everything is Halal. Where almost everything is familiar. Where almost everything is still affordable. Where almost everything can be picked up off the streets. Where almost everything cannot be found here. Where our eyes will glaze over in the sheer bliss and satisfaction of great food. We will be there soon. Not soon enough! HK Independance Day, come quick!

Mum's Day

I still remember when I was young, when my siblings and I, armed with $2 each would go in search for our mum's day presents. I reckon at that time our mighty $2 could get us plenty. We'd end up wiyh funny funny gifts for her, once my brother got 3 packets of scouring pads and wrapped it up nicely. Another time I managed to find a bottle of Nescafe that came with a free gift and so felt so accomplished that I had TWO gifts instead of 1. heheh.... We never thought to pool our money to get her a more expensive gift. They were good times.

Now, we're all grown up and many Many many things have changed. God only knows how Mak felt on that Sunday. Only Farah was with her. My brother was, as usual, not around. I am not in SG, so it's a first for everyone that I was not there to orchestrate the whole Mum's Day Affair. It was very difficult for me. I was really wishing that I was with Mak. Apparently, from reliable source, she was upset that I didn't call her to wish her a happy day, but of course she didn't know that I had ordered a fruit basket and a bunch of flowers to be delivered to her. She was in tears it seems when she got it and called me immediately to say thank you.

It's difficult for everyone. I wish I was celebrating with little people who call me mummy but that's just a dream.

It's probably also difficult for my sayang. He is going through wild emotions with what has happened with his mum. I know it's so hard to have a mother and yet don't seem to have one...

Well...

Mak, thank you for being a wonderful, strong, amazing mum. Thanks for calling and checking up on me when I was sick. Thanks for being my walking recipe book. Thanks for all the advice( although I don't listen to half of it! ). Thanks for being there when I needed you to be. Thanks for understanding that I needed to leave and having the faith that I will never forsake you. Thanks for being my mak. I love you.