Wednesday, April 27, 2011

O Captain, my Captain!

I am a little stressed out by the expectation that has been laid out to me with regards to this year's PSLE results. I'm taking the graduating class and based on the pupils' standard, I have a some miracles to work. I strongly believe that as long as the kids have tried their best, I will be thankful, eventhough it's not 'inline' with what the powers that be is expecting of me....but hey, that's part and parcel of working in an organisation right? Expectations and stresses? It's all about knowing how to manage it.

There was certainly no short of challenges in my previous organisation. So after I had taken some time off from the service, reflected on what went on, I felt that I had made some self discoveries. I realised that confrontations are not as effective as they are touted to be, even if the person you confront has been irritating the crap out of you. For example, once, I yelled at a colleague who had blatantly accused me of misplacing a cd of which existance I know not of. It was eventually revealed that it was another colleague that had kept and apparently forgot about it.... Falsely accused I was right? Sure.

But what people remembered was that Zak had shouted at this 'small old lady'. Nevermind that she had accused me, nevermind that she never apologised for doing so, nevermind that she has been doing so over and over again. It was that I had shouted at her was what people remembered. Being smaller, literally, and older than I was, she naturally garnered the sympathy votes. Since then, I tried very had not to react to her or acknowledge her, which was difficult given that she was the head of my department. Naturally when the husband got posted overseas, I was only too happy to leave and be rid of this great source of stress for me.

When I came back from leave, I was posted to a different organisation. While I was not too keen on starting anew in the friends making department and that I'd miss my old friends tremendously, on hindsight I'm glad I'd been given the opportunity to experience something different. I said to the husband that I'd take whatever experiences I had from the previous organisation and apply it to the new place. I'd take whatever I've learnt to do or not, and apply it there. All, of course, in an effort to reduce the stress that I know will come my way soon enough.

Never in a million years would I have thought to prepare for the new and improved version of that great source of stress I had left my previous organisation for. Each day is a little battle for me. I seriously have no idea how much of stress I can tolerate. But I truly believe in the fact that HE will not test me with what I cannot handle. So God Willing, I will try to endure this and come out of it with a lot of grace. *cross fingers*

No comments: