Dance With My Father

Today is my dad's 17th death anniversary.

Funny calling it death anniversary isn't it? Well, it has been 17 eventful years without him. Terribly missing him, I am. Incredibly lost without him, I am too.

I have always been daddy's girl. Whatever fancies me, all I had to do was open my mouth, and I'd get it. How lucky I was. I have very fond and warm memories of him. Growing up, he played a major part in shaping who I am today. He was my best friend, my guiding light, my confidante, my worse nightmare too, whenever I crossed the line. He was never cross, never punitive but when there was the need to, he had no issues whipping out the belt and introducing the leather to my skin. He showed me things, taught me a lot and adviced me loads.

The saddest thing is that I never had the opportunity to return the favours. I had dreamed of taking him on holidays to faraway places. Dreamed of driving him around in my car as he did with me and the rest of the family. Dreamed of having my photo taken with him with the mortar board and my scroll. Dreamed of having him by myside at my wedding. Dreamed of having him Bang into my baby's ear when I gave birth. Dreamed of taking long walks with him on the weekends.

All I can do now, is pray for him. Recite the Al-Fateha for him. Pray that he is with those of faith. Pray that God forgives all his sins. I love you Bak. And I miss you. We will meet again. One day, I'm sure.

This one's for you.

Back when I was a child

Before life removed all the innocence

My father would lift me high

And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep

Then up the stairs he would carry me

And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance

Another walk, another dance with him,

I'd play a song that would never ever end

How I'd love love love,

to dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree

To get my way I would run from her to him

He'd make me laugh just to comfort me

Then finally make me do just what my momma said

Later that night, when I was asleep

He left a dollar under my sheet

Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal

One final glance

One final step

One final dance with him

I'd play a song that would never ever end

Cause I'd love love love

to dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door

I'd hear how my mother cried for him

I'd pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much

But could you send back the only man she loved

I know you don't do it usually

But dear Lord she' s dying to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep

And this is all I ever dream