Thursday, February 02, 2006

Dance With My Father

Today is my dad's 17th death anniversary.

Funny calling it death anniversary isn't it? Well, it has been 17 eventful years without him. Terribly missing him, I am. Incredibly lost without him, I am too.

I have always been daddy's girl. Whatever fancies me, all I had to do was open my mouth, and I'd get it. How lucky I was. I have very fond and warm memories of him. Growing up, he played a major part in shaping who I am today. He was my best friend, my guiding light, my confidante, my worse nightmare too, whenever I crossed the line. He was never cross, never punitive but when there was the need to, he had no issues whipping out the belt and introducing the leather to my skin. He showed me things, taught me a lot and adviced me loads.

The saddest thing is that I never had the opportunity to return the favours. I had dreamed of taking him on holidays to faraway places. Dreamed of driving him around in my car as he did with me and the rest of the family. Dreamed of having my photo taken with him with the mortar board and my scroll. Dreamed of having him by myside at my wedding. Dreamed of having him Bang into my baby's ear when I gave birth. Dreamed of taking long walks with him on the weekends.

All I can do now, is pray for him. Recite the Al-Fateha for him. Pray that he is with those of faith. Pray that God forgives all his sins. I love you Bak. And I miss you. We will meet again. One day, I'm sure.

This one's for you.

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him,
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love,
to dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my momma said
Later that night, when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal
One final glance
One final step
One final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
Cause I'd love love love
to dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I'd pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she' s dying to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream


tiahuliz said...

I think this month is a very important month and busy as well for both of us eh!

gingerena said...

this makes me cry.....