When your head feels like exploding....

Sometimes I am a pushover . Like today, when a certain someone, let's call her.... Lupy, asked me to help her, ( read: DO IT FOR HER ) I thought, what the heck lah, might as well, if not Lupy will not stop bothering me. Never mind that I had mountains of marking. Never mind that I was in the middle of churning out the do-while-you-teach-the-unit worksheets. Never mind that Lupy had already finished her work. Never mind that it was ACTUALLY Lupy's responsibilty. I still did it anyway.

So I started. Lupy offered to sit with me and 'do it together'. Awww....how thoughtful? Bullshit!!! Lupy sat, while I tried to complete this task. It started out quite alright. I managed to figure out what it was that needed to be done and how the grid that I was to complete actually works. Then came the confusion. There were questions that needed answers. There were terms that needed explanations. There were issues that needed clarifying.

The more I asked, the more confused I became. Lupy did not seem to know anything. Lupy did not know how the grid works. Lupy did not know what the terms meant. Lupy just did not know!

There is a certain limit to the amount of stupidity I can take from one person in a lifetime and for Lupy, I've increased this limit by at least a 100 times.

But today, today I nearly lost it. I simply just could not get anything out of her. Today, Lupy, to me, was useless. Lupy could not tell me how much certain things cost, Lupy did not seem to have the paperwork from which she can refer to and provide me with the answers I so desperately needed. She could not decide what she needed to focus on so that her department would not screw up yet again. SHE COULD NOT.

The more lupy's mouth opened and yapped, the more my head throbbed. My shoulders and neck ached, breathing was difficult, I felt like crying and what was worse I felt like I wanted to punch her in the face.

Then I lost it. A bit.

With a slightly raised voice, I asked her how I was to complete my tasks for this department when I have a colleague who incessantly complains that her load is too heavy, another who thinks so damned bloody highly of himself but yet has done nothing for a major event that will be happening in a month's time ( who happens to be Lupy's fav ) yet another who is in hot soup as it is. Tya is leaving, which means I only have Zorro left to depend on. HOW TO COPE??


The response? SILENCE.

Reprieve came soon after when Lupy's offspring called to say he has arrived and in true Lupy style, she simply packed her bags, and said BYYEEEEEE..... I GO HOME FIRST.........

Sigh.

Lupy, I don't hate you, I really don't, but I want you to realise that you are incapable of leading. I want you to know that I know you have have said nasty things about me to people who were sitting near you. I want you to know that I know you don't speak up for me to let the world know the things I have done for you. I want you to know that you earn more than you deserve. I want you to know that I am crushed to find out that you do all these things. I want you to know that you are manipulative whether you know it or not. I want you to know that you have shortchanged me. I want you to know that a particular retired colleague left with a not so good impression of me, thanx to you. I want you to know that I have NO respect for you anymore and that makes me sad.Lupy, I want you to bow out now as I am really unsure if I can hide my glee, should you fall from grace.

With deep disappointment, I pledge to ignore you. With a lifted heart, I promise to do all I can for my department. By doing that, I will help my children. Anak kita, Anak bangsa.

May you, Lupy, enjoy the fruits of your labour.