Thursday, April 27, 2006

Time Will Heal What Reasons Cannot

I made it out of the hospital. Let me tell you, the colour of the hospital, the uniform they make you wear actually makes you look sicker than you are. Might consider brightening up the place?

Anyway, I have been discharged. While I was in there, I was given wonderful service by the medical staff at KK. They were great. They were prompt, attentive, caring and not too evasive. The best bit about them is that they were not loud. Which I greatly appreciated. All in all, my stay there was very pleasant.

Thanx to Mak who stayed so late with me. We had a nice time talking away and making fun of Farah. Thanx to my baby sister who came again to keep me company. Thanx to my MIL and FIL who came despite the fact that they were not doing too well.

Thanx to my friends who took time off their busy, busy, busy schedule to come see me. Thanx to Alam's friends and colleagues who also came by. Thanx to Sheila for the gorgeous bouquet. You need not apologise profusely for not being able to come by. What with being in UK and all.... Silly girl. Thanx to Has for calling all the way from Georgia.

Having this episode in the hospital made me painfully aware of certain things. This realisation made me really, really sad. I have realised what it means to matter. I have realised what defines a relationship one human has with another. I have realised that even though you are so busy you can hardly breathe, you CAN make time..... if it really mattered to you. I have realised that I have been a fool. Don't you just hate it when you realise that you have been a fool?

What was I thinking? How could have not seen things that were right in front of my face? Maybe I did see them. Maybe obstinate me refused to believe that I didn't have that depth of a relationship with them. Maybe stupid me thought that all the accusations were jokes that will be laughed at over a cup of caramel macchiato. Maybe stupid stupid me just didn't get it that I'm not what falls into YOUR definition of a friend. Maybe silly me thought that YOU would check with me before accusing me. Maybe dumb*** me should just go slam my head against a wall for being so dumb!

On another note. What kind of a leader are YOU? Leaders should care for the people under their charge. Even if YOU think they are beneath you. Even if YOU think they are morally decayed. Even if YOU think they are so worthless as a fellow human. Just remember that we, that I, whether you like it or not, work. So when we get sick, when we are not well, YOU should bloody well show some concern. But seriously, I hope that when I come back to work, YOU don't ask me how I am because I know YOU don't care. I would very much rather YOU just shut up and be on your way. I'd rather YOU don't pollute the air by opening your mouth, thank you very much.

I think it's about time I grew up. Whatever happened or will happen, I will get over it because as Irni says, time will heal what reasons cannot.


Sheila said...

Eh... why you sound so angry? You ok? The D&C successful? I'm sure it is, otherwise the doc would not have discharged you right? Why is your leader like that? Why do you want to work under a crappy leader like that? Whenever my people fall sick, I will always send a simple 'hope you are feeling better' something to them.... like that then can call boss right? I'll come see you when i get back ok?

Zak said...

Halo makcik! Rub it in why don't you...The d&c was successful. but my follow up appt will be about my last pap smear which didn't go too well..... A bit worried about that. Hurry home will you?

tiahuliz said...

sheila ni boss eh? ada kerja kosong?
Anyway, kalo colourful tu gi tempat wad budak budak. ada rainbow ada sun ada colour-colour. Now dah abis azab oral. InsyaAllah, everyone at work dah back to normal self. Tak zombie lagi k.