Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Something Not So Nice

I know I get upset and angry quite easily and when I get angry, my mean streak shows. As I welcomed the new year in a different country, a different world, I made a pact with myself to try to substantially reduce this horrid streak of mine. My arguement was that I was in a different place, emotionally, geographically so why not right?

I also found myself in a better place in my faith. That and the fact that it was freezing calmed me down somewhat. I was less agitated and my temper was sweeter. I was more tolerant, more patient, more forgiving in almost every aspect of my life. This, I'm glad to announce has been going on up till 2 days ago.

2 days ago I received a call from a friend, telling me of a situation that has arisen back home. As the story unfolded, I felt a lot of hatred and disgust and loathe for this person. I mean, how jantan are you that you choose to attack me when I'm not even in the same country?? How man are you to criticize me when you were so busy trying to suck up to me when you perceived that I had power?? Do you realise that you are doing to this friend exactly what you did to me last year when the other man left??

Let me tell you this. Why are you so afraid to have me back? Why are you trying so hard to make me look bad? Whatever your reasons, and I know you have plenty, well, excuses more like it, I DO NOT CARE. Practice what you preach. Take up the challenge. May the kids benefit while you're at it. Don't just be all talk lah. But I know that that is all you are. TALK.

Let me just tell you. It is the likes of you that give Malay men a bad name. You hide behind the religion. You hide behind you supposedly dignified exterior. I think my landlord's dog has more dignity than you lah.

I am trying to wipe out hate and revenge from my heart because it makes me a small person and impedes me from moving on with my life and I have been successful up to 2 days ago.Today, I am willing to sacrifice my resolution. Just for you. I will move on with my life, I know. But as surely as the sun will rise, I am sure that I HATE YOU.

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