I'm Back, Baby

It has been a long, long time since I wrote anything. I was on a blog hiatus, heh. More importantly, I'm baaaack!

Today I just received word that there are only 5 more games to the dreaded world cup. Not that I have anything against football as a game per se but the world cup is something else. I'm soooo damned bloody glad that it's coming to an end. Anyway, let's get updated shall we?

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In the wise words of Julie Andrews, Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start....

June holidays came around after the fluster of pre and post exam activities. After getting stressed out with countless Meet the Parents sessions which after a while lost it's fear for me, ( ya! I was afraid to meet parents ), the Analysis of the SA1 results reared it's ugly head. My department then brainstormed why the results were so and thankfully some issues were addressed. ( Read: My issues, I addressed it myself. Heh ) With that well behind me, I started on the almost-always-impossible mission of clearing my desk.

After that was done to my acceptable standards, obviously not very high, I vowed to never return to school again unless absolutely necessary. Although I owed Mdm R work review and books.Heh I am glad that I kept to my word as this June, I DID NOT at all come back to school. That I think is the first time I'd done that. June was not much of a holiday anyway. The first week was spent doing department stuff and P6 supplementary.The 2nd week, I slept and slept and slept. I was a piggy but I was tired. I just wanted to rest and rest I did.

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The third week of the holidays, MBB was on leave and we spent quite a bit of time with my BIL's family. That means me getting a whole lot of time with my 2 lovely nieces. I love these girls.
We went to the Zoo. It was Sabrina's first time at the Zoo and she was excited. Sofiah, however, has been there before, so she wasn't half as excited as kakak. Anyway, we spent a whole day there. The weather was slightly overcast but it held up, so it wasn't hot ( much to my joy ) So yours truly was not cranky and so we had great fun. ( I had wanted to insert pictures here but dunno why lah cannot )
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Following the Zoo weekend, we went to the beach. It was leisurely, unhurried and was quite a nice day out. We went to East Coast. It was a sunny, sunny day. While yours truly was not too happy about that, my nieces were so excited to play in the sand and wade in the water. I had wanted to take them in but the sand in the sea had many many stones in them. I was not about to be stepping on very rough stones, thank you very much! Who do I report such bad sea conditions to? Anyhow, the girls and their mummy and daddy built a sandcastle and they had a wonderful time. ( I had wanted too put pictures here too, but well, you know )
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20th June was a special day. MBB turned 34! Happy birthday sayang! We had a wonderful day out. Although clumsy me had to spoil it somewhat by spraining my ankle which I later found out was a torn ligament. We caught The Omen that day. You can give this show a miss coz it was so very the boring! We then had a nice dinner at Bali Thai because I had a craving for the Ayam Panggang Bali. Shouldn't MBB be the one to decide where to eat? Of course lah, but since he loves me sooo much,he let ME have my way...heh. ( Well, pictures were supposed to be here too but.... )
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I had to go to Batam this hols for a staff planning retreat. Yes, do not do a double take. You read it right. It was B-A-T-A-M that I wrote. I had never been there. But I do hear horror stories of things that go on there. So imagine my distress when the P announced that we'll have a staff retreat there. Of all places. There was always Bintan. I would have rejoiced and brought MBB along to continue his birthday celebrations if it had been Bintan. But it was not so MBB had to stay home. Anyway, he had the World Cup to occupy him without me yelling in his ear to get to bed.

I had very adverse expectations about this trip. I had expected the ferry people would screw up our ride. I had expected the hotel to forget that we were checking in. I had expected the hotel grounds and rooms to be below expectations, never mind that it was a Holiday-Inn hotel. I had expected them to deliver a spoon I'd request 5 hours later. But what a pleasant pleasant surprise I got! The hotel grounds and rooms were great! The service staff was effective and very very polite. The staff of certain hotel in JB where we also had a staff retreat once, should do well to learn a thing or two from these great Batam service people. All not so good thoughts I had about this trip had vanished. As a matter of fact, I had great time minus the work bit lah.
I really want to bring MBB there. I'd spent more time in the room this time. Heh. ( Again, pictures will come soon. But can refer here if no patience. heh )
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Well, so much for updates. School's in and so work begins. Miss them munchkins though. Till the next update... Toodaloo!

It's No Mean Feat

SUSTAINABILITY

Big word in my life right now. At work, at home, with my family, with the love of my life. It is not easy. It definitely isn't. But with God as my witness, I will TRY.

Goodbye To YOU

I'll remember the fun times. I'll remember the pouring out of souls. I'll remember all the good graces lavished sparingly. I'll remember all the harsh words. I'll remember all the blind accusations. I'll REMEMBER.

There is no action without repercussion.

Time Will Heal What Reasons Cannot

I made it out of the hospital. Let me tell you, the colour of the hospital, the uniform they make you wear actually makes you look sicker than you are. Might consider brightening up the place?

Anyway, I have been discharged. While I was in there, I was given wonderful service by the medical staff at KK. They were great. They were prompt, attentive, caring and not too evasive. The best bit about them is that they were not loud. Which I greatly appreciated. All in all, my stay there was very pleasant.

Thanx to Mak who stayed so late with me. We had a nice time talking away and making fun of Farah. Thanx to my baby sister who came again to keep me company. Thanx to my MIL and FIL who came despite the fact that they were not doing too well.

Thanx to my friends who took time off their busy, busy, busy schedule to come see me. Thanx to Alam's friends and colleagues who also came by. Thanx to Sheila for the gorgeous bouquet. You need not apologise profusely for not being able to come by. What with being in UK and all.... Silly girl. Thanx to Has for calling all the way from Georgia.

Having this episode in the hospital made me painfully aware of certain things. This realisation made me really, really sad. I have realised what it means to matter. I have realised what defines a relationship one human has with another. I have realised that even though you are so busy you can hardly breathe, you CAN make time..... if it really mattered to you. I have realised that I have been a fool. Don't you just hate it when you realise that you have been a fool?

What was I thinking? How could have not seen things that were right in front of my face? Maybe I did see them. Maybe obstinate me refused to believe that I didn't have that depth of a relationship with them. Maybe stupid me thought that all the accusations were jokes that will be laughed at over a cup of caramel macchiato. Maybe stupid stupid me just didn't get it that I'm not what falls into YOUR definition of a friend. Maybe silly me thought that YOU would check with me before accusing me. Maybe dumb*** me should just go slam my head against a wall for being so dumb!

On another note. What kind of a leader are YOU? Leaders should care for the people under their charge. Even if YOU think they are beneath you. Even if YOU think they are morally decayed. Even if YOU think they are so worthless as a fellow human. Just remember that we, that I, whether you like it or not, work. So when we get sick, when we are not well, YOU should bloody well show some concern. But seriously, I hope that when I come back to work, YOU don't ask me how I am because I know YOU don't care. I would very much rather YOU just shut up and be on your way. I'd rather YOU don't pollute the air by opening your mouth, thank you very much.

I think it's about time I grew up. Whatever happened or will happen, I will get over it because as Irni says, time will heal what reasons cannot.

Some Good, Some Not So Good

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth and I also regrettably announce that I'm still very much alive and kicking. ( Sheil, sorry to disappoint you!! ) I have just been very busy lately.

A lot has happened since the last entry. Some good, some not so good.

Not so good ( 1 )
Mak has TB. That just sucks. But I must say she's taking it pretty well. It's a good thing we caught it early, doc says. She's on meds now. Doc says if she takes the meds regularly and as prescribed, she'll be ok. The only sucky thing for her is that she'll have to dialyse at an isolated facility and not together with her dialysis kakis. Hang on in there Mak, it's only 2 weeks.

Not so good ( 2 )
I have to be away for a week from school. This I reckon will not be good as I do not know how my P will react to it. It will also be the week where my kiddies will be having their SA1 oral exams. If I'm gone, there'll only be 2 of my teachers testing the PM kids and there are MANY of them. Sigh. I feel so bad leaving them in the lurch like this. It'll also mean that I'll have a week less to do revision with my kiddies. Actually, at this moment I don't know what to do. Why do I have to go you ask? Now that will bring me to the next not so good thing.

Not so good ( 3 )
I had an ultrasound done and my gynae found that my womb lining is suspiciously thick. There were also some funny looking 'somethings' in my womb. So what she wants to do is a D&C procedure to scrape out the lining and have it tested at the lab. I had asked her if I could have it done in May after the SA1 is over but she says this needed to be done urgently. I'm really torn. The decision to go has, however been made up for me as I have, once again, started to bleed excessively again. I have to get this fixed.

So, to all my dear friends who WILL be visiting me in the hospital, I WANT FLOWERS.

Now, for the pieces of good news that really made my week.

Good ( 1 )
The Malay Dance in my school was awarded the GOLD medal in the recent SYF. From what I hear it was the p6 boys that captured the judges' eye and most of these boys are mine! I'm so, so the very proud of them. Congrats to Tya who has really worked hard on this, given the crappy assistant ( not Suharti! ) that was assigned to her.

Good ( 2 )
I PASSED my FTT. So happy, happy, happy I am!!!! And guess what? My practical test, will be on September 11th. I told my instructor that I might just crash into some building. Touch Wood!!!

So that's it. Things happen. We get so caught up in them that when the day ends, you just wonder where the hours have gone. Sigh.... Such is life...

So people, pray that I come out of the hospital still alive ok?

Enjoy The Silence

It has been a long long week. I'm physically, mentally and psychologically tired. There is just so much to do. It's my job, so it's my responsibility but there's just so much to do.

I miss my husband. He has had a longer more stressful week than me. I miss having him hold me till I fall asleep. I miss our pillow talk and bear hugs. I miss him.

I miss my mummy. I miss seeing her. I miss her cooking. I miss my baby sister. I miss our time out together.

I miss what could have been my baby.

But I don't miss this dull ache I have in my head, my body, my abdomen...... my heart.

I need a break. I just want to sleep it all away. All of it. The pain, the ache, the depression. Please God, please make it all go away.

I know that I will be ok.

Eventually.

I'm not alone in being busy at work. Most of my colleagues are busy too. Only some colleagues are fortunate enough to be able to finish their work and leave school by 2pm. To one particular colleague, I have this to say to you.

I understand that extra work given may be difficult for you to take but IT IS your job and responsibility. I'm sorry you were informed at the last minute but don't you realise that with an incompetent leader, we have always been asked to do last minute work?

I know you are probably pissed off at having to do this last minute work. But you don't have to do it from scratch. You are merely just adding on or changing around the existing piece of work, even if it ran the risk of the parents having seen it before. Even then, it was poorly done. I had to make changes to it.

I know you are concerned that your kids would have no help preparing. Do we look heartless to you? Whatever you had asked us to do, did you not realise that we had our commitments as well?

I know you are not well, but you were overbearing. You demanded things be done without realising we had things to do as well. You demanded things be done like we owed it to you to do. At one point, you insulted me even. How can you ask for help and insult me in the same space?

I'm not going to say anything to you about it. I'm not going to react to it. I'll just keep mum. My new reaction to anger.

SILENCE.

Say hello to it.

Attitude Adjustment

Today I told a colleague this,

"... Before you can start to change or disciplne these supposedly naughty children, you must become their friend first. You must get their respect. To do that, you gotta respect them first. When they respect and like you, they will do ANYTHING for you..."

Good advice I feel. A personal mantra. After talking to this colleague, I felt damned old. As it turns out, this colleague knew who my brother is. That invariably made me feel even older.

Maybe it's about time I accepted the fact that I am, well, old. I guess this past week, I have not only been hormonal but also rather reflective. I realise that calling another stupid, does not make me any smarter. Calling another an ass does not make me any wiser. Being mean to another does not get me anywhere.

I have decided that I will have an attitude adjustment, without comprimising ME. I have decided that I will be diplomatic and like everybody. All except one. This one does not deserve my sympathy.

Anyway, moving on, I had another lesson this afternoon. Before that, I managed to clear quite a bit of my marking. Now, I'm watching LOST.....

Tomorrow shall be another LOOOONG day.

Hormonal, I am or Are They?

My P6 kids just had a singing competition. I think my boys did pretty well. I will give them a treat. While they are my 'angels' in class, they are the ones who step up each and every time. Thank you boys! I am very very proud of you!

With regards to this particular competition, I have a few unhappiness I have to air.

1. While I understand that you are frustrated that the mics were malfunctioning, the necessary cds were unclear and not working, it was not professional of you to shout at me to ask me to introduce the group that was performing next. The cd was not ready and the mic not working. How was I to do the intro? Shout? Sorry. I will not.

2. While it is frustrating that the cds were not working properly, you should not have shouted at the teacher, asking why she bought such an inferior cd. Firstly, it was not the teacher's. Secondly, when the cd was used yesterday, it was fine. I can attest to that.

3. The mics were not functioning. Any sane human being, faced with that, will try to find a solution right? I reckon this will be especially so if you are the so-called AVA teacher in charge. But today, di depan mataku, I saw, a so-called AVA teacher in charge just stand there, probably waiting for a miracle to happen. I mean, what lah?

4. I am a little upset that the Em3 kids were not able to watch their friends perform. I know that they are probably a little disappointed. Sorry kids, I can't say next time, this being your last year and all. Sigh...

In any event, there are bound to be cock ups. But it is very unprofessional and terribly rude to be shouting at another colleague in front of everyone. Should avoid doing that... especially if you want to be a leader and be in this service for the long haul.

Just another thing, yours truly, was uber cool today. I did not flare up. I did not raise my voice. I did not bang table. I really dunno...... Is it the hormones? I'm sure MBB would want my gynae to refill my prescription. Heh.

Gubra

I'm soooo looking forward to this. The problem is, I have not been able to find a cinema that's showing it! I know GV Yishun was showing but when I checked the showtimes today, it wasn' t there anymore. boo hoo hoo. So now I'm waiting waiting and waiting for the DVD to come out. Release it already!

No, Zak, It's NOT The End Of The World

No matter how you try to justify it, having 3 pairs of eyes staring at you where the sun don't shine and I reckon 2 fingers inside you poking and prodding to ensure that your uterus is not injured, leaves you feeling a little less dignified. I had to endure that and right now, I think about 65% of my dignity has been thrown out into the toxic waste bin at KK Women and Children's Hospital together with the blood soaked bed lining that I was on.

As if to add insult to injury, some of the nurses, while preparing me for the D&C procedure were in disbelief while asking me,"You mean you didn't even know you were pregnant?". I was not particularly interested in explaining to everyone who asked but I did, from my irregular menses to the 30 bloody days of bleeding....

What were they thinking? Did they not think that I would have taken the necessary precautions to prevent yet another miscarriage? I mean... I do understand that you work in a gynaecologically based hospital and cases like mine are essentially your daily dealings and you are probably so damned bloody used to it, but I'M NOT.... so have some heart and sympathy why don't you? I do want a baby. I do get upset with how crappy my lower body is functioning. I have this overwhelming maternal feeling with no offspring to off load it on.

Also, with all the hormon pills I have to take, I'm extremely hormonal. I can be so weepy, so angry, so giggly all in a span of a minute! The slightest thing can just set me off, and my MBB has been getting the brunt of it. Sorry Ayang. Tomorrow morning at 4am, he'll be leaving me to go to work.... maybe it'll be good for him to get away from me for a few hours.

And then to rub salt into my wound, the medical officer on call said that "we needed to tackle the weight issue as you are, morbidly obese..." without even so much as batting an eyelid. "Morbidly obese" literally translates into "gemuk nak mampos" in Malay. How? Talk about brutal honesty. Ya lah, I know, I need to lose weight. Ok lah.... I shall work out a nutrional enhancement for myself. I shall go and check out how Kirstie Alley lost all her weight...

After the week's events, I have decided that it will not be the end of the world if I cannot have any children. In my earnest desire to have a child, I must ensure that I do not sacrifice things that I have got going for me. Especially MBB. I have to realise that he is the most important part of wanting kids. I also have to realise that my mummy is sick and she is my no. 1 priority. I have to be well for her. I have to be.

There's always adoption.

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On a different note,

Have you ever seen a lizard crap? I have. Seriously. Earlier this evening, I was cleaning my bathtub. By that I mean, I was using the showerhead to wash away the grime that was supposedly absorbed by this new thing called "BANG". It works quite well I must say. Anyhow, just after I washed away all the mixture, and the tub was white and clean and shiny, from the sky ( literally ) dropped this small piece of black gunk. I looked up and saw a lizard. Upon closer inspection, I realised it was lizard crap!

I was so mad, I launched into Operation Kill Lizard! Needles to say, lizard is now dead and has been washed into my drainage pipe! Strangely, with depleted dignity, I feel a wonderful sense of bliss after killing the lizard. Natural born killer, I am?

The End of The Hols

It was not much of a holiday anyway. What with assignments to do, essays to grade, books to mark.... aaarrgghh...!!! Today we had a meeting. That was followed with yet more meetings... More work to be done, as Kak Jo says, it's getting tougher at work everyday. You are so right darling!!

During the meeting I took this picture.

I like to take photos au natural. Unposed. In this photo they look like they are in deep conversation, oblivious to the world around. So nice right....?

This meeting signalled our coming back to school. So, with bated breath, I wait for the monday to come around.

Mission Accomplished

I had to drag myself out of bed this morning to complete my halfway done assignment on eating disorders. After unsuccessfully convincing MBB to take the day off, I sat at my desk with my mood all foul. Decided that I needed sustenance, I scoured my pantry for coffee. I found a solitary satchet of Indocafe kopi. Made that and dunked Hup Seng biscuits into it.... super shiok, especially the soddy mess that settles in your kopi after dunking many biscuits in it. Heh.

Time : 9.52 am

I, full of gusto and Hup Seng biscuits, picked up where I left last night. As I got into my essay, my darling meow, settled into her corner, stretched and slept.... I thought she just woke up.

12.45 noon

I'm 95% done. Just have to do a run through and see if I want to add anything to it and of course type my references. Felt a little bit hungry. So I shared this with my darling meow.

3.17 pm

My assignment is done!! Yeaaayyy!!! And what do you know, my darling meow also has awaken.

So I'm off to have a shower and then to NIE to send it in. What shall I do after that? Whatever it is... I'm glad the assignment's done.

A Day At The Library

Yours truly spent about 5 hours in the library from 11 to 4 today. Why? I was doing research for a paper due tomorrow. I went to the library fresh and after gathering a few reference books, I found myself a seat at a desk and I dove right into anorexic nervosa and bullimia.

After 3 hours of definitions and signs and symptomps, my marginal returns was on a down curve. I was getting a major migraine. My focus was waning.... my eyes got drowsy..... I put my head down for about 15 mins and actually fell asleep. All the memories from school came flooding back. Heh. I remember now why I stopped becoming a student.

Anyhow, after the nap, I managed to wake myself up and finished up my research. Now I'm home, downloading articles from the internet and feeling sleepy again. After Maghrib, I shall start typing my essay. Till then, I shall go catch some zzzs.......

It Just Died

2nd lesson today. Not too shabby, though I made my DA loose his cool a little. Heh But after a while it was alright. MBB was on leave today, so he saw me off. He was so proud of me he said that he lumped in is throat. So sweet the man right?

Anyhow, before I went for lessons, while in our study, MBB's phone died. Just like that. Even after the both of us tinkered with it, we could not figure out what was wrong. MBB started to get a little upset because that was his cari makan phone ( read: working phone ) It is on that phone that the US office would call him. Small wonder why MBB was upset. So we deciced to go get an interim phone while waiting for the Nokia 6125 to be released.

I must say that I was secretly quite happy that the phone died. No more calls from the office.YaaY!!

After a lot of considerations, we decided to get this.

The Motorola V3. Was hoping the black one was out of stock so that we could get the pink one, so I can use the pink phone when he got his 6125. But that was not to be. Sigh... the black one it is then. But see my picture on the phone? Heh.

Since I could not get the pink phone, I went to look at books. After browsing for a bit, MBB got a Dilbert book ( he just loves them ) and I saw a book that so caught my eye. It's called "I am a Cat" by Soseki Natsume.

"... a nonchalant string of anecdotes and wisecracks, told by a fellow ( a kitten! ) who doesn't have a name, and has never caught a mouse, and isn't much good for anything except watching human beings in action..." - The New Yorker

I immediately thought of my cat. Heh. I got the book but have not started on it yet. I have an assignment to finish. Due on Thursday. Aaaargghh!!!

On A High

I'm on a high today. Why? I actually drove a car on the roads today. I was quite a decent driver. Even my instructor says so. Yes, it was my 1st practical lesson. 6 months is all I have.... Must work hard.

Anyhow, today was Eat With Your Family Day @ Citibank. So MBB got off work at 5.30. So, Every 2nd Friday of the month, MBB gets to leave early. I love that. We met at Suntec ( Again! ). Had dinner at Ichiban Boshi. I had Sansai Soba and MBB had Tempura Soba. Yummy yum yum.... Then we shared the Saba Shioyaki. I like their version. Not dry at all. After dinner, we went to Marina ( Again! ). MBB said that we had not finished exploring the third floor.

Then we ended up buying this.

I really love these. From Crocs.The blue one's mine and MBB got the black one. They are very comfy. I thought they'd be quite appropriate for my learning journey tomorrow. Right now, MBB is convincing himself that he will wear it. I shall let him be.Heh.

Incidentally, my floor looks quite nice ya?

Really looking forward to the next 2nd Friday of next month....

Of Shades And Burgers

I got me 2 new pair of sunnies today. MBB and I were up and about in town today. A rarity in itself. I had wanted to get them new shades for the longest time. And I wanted those oversized Erra Fazira kind. So after watching Nanny Mcphee, which incidentally is a wonderful show ( we loved it!! Emma Thompson and Collin Firth, were brilliant as usual....sigh..... ), we trawled through the shops at Suntec for my sunnies. The were many on sale but few that struck my fancy. Those that did would have paid for my cable tv for the next 2 months! I just don't get why their prices are so exorbitant. There was a Gucci one that I liked which cost $274 after a 50% discount! What a turn off that was....

So the trawling continued and we ended up across the street at the newly renovated Marina shopping centre. Just on an off tangent, I just don't get some members of my community. I went pass Carl's Junior, which is a new fast food outlet at Marina which sells, hey guess what? BURGERS & FRIES which is, incidentally also sold at Mac's, KFC, Long John Silvers.... What did I see in this new joint? A Malay family - mum, dad, 2 beautiful young girls apparently enjoying a great big Carl's burger. Not Halal right? What kind of values are you teaching your kids? So many Halal burgers, yang Haram jugak yang korang cari..... haiz....... If you choose to langgar the Haram & the Halal, I guess that's your perogative lah, your kubur, you answer. But your kids?

So anyway, back to my sunnies..... We walked through Marina, there were a lot of shops. There was a whole that had shops that were meant for people 2 age groups before me.... made us realise that we were on the wrong floor..Heh... I was about ready to give up and go home when MBB pointed out to me an Evita Peroni shop. Into the shop we went and I was most excited to find 2 that I particularly liked! Not able to decide which one I wanted, I got both lah... At the cashier's, I found out 1 had a 30% discount. Yaaay!


I very the pleased now... : ) So how do I look? Can or not?

This Is The Beginning

I did it! I finally did it. I got my Provisional Driving License, registered for my Final Theory Test and worked out my practicals. I'm giving myself 6 months to do this. I have to do it in 6 months. 6 months all I've got... Haven't you figured it out? I'm psyching myself up..... All together now, 6 months, 6 months, 6 months.... Johnson, I'm taking you up on your offer for theory lessons.....

So people, wish me luck!

Just You and Me Baby

Ok ok... I'm on a journey of self pity. Who else is supposed to pity me if not myself? MBB sent me this sms a few hours ago.

Will be late... Pls have dinner and not wait for me...

Sigh.... After my little tyranny yesterday, I had expected that he'll be back earlier today. Alas... this is apparently not going to be the case.

Well, Baby ( that's my cat ) it's just gonna be you and me tonight. It's like she already knows that MBB will not be comng back anytime soon. MBB does not allow her to stay in the room when he's home. Allergies. When I came home, she rushed into the room and plonked herself in that small corner next to my shelving unit and just slightly behind my laptop. That's her corner. When it's just us, when there's guests, when there are things that she asesses to be threatening to her well being, that's where she'll be. Most days, she'll just be there keeping me company.


My worksheets have found their way out of my bag. So now, armed with my Pilot red pen, I am ready to mark the night away. Baby, you ready?

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing

Yesterday MBB came home late. As usual. It was almost 11 pm. Sigh... Our routine is this. I leave the house at 6.30 am, when it's still terribly, terribly dark. MBB on the other hand is still comfortably snoring away, tucked under the faux suede comforter. Rightfully so, given that he only got home at 11pm the night before and after an hour of winding down, he'll only crawl into bed by midnight. On top of that, he is a light sleeper and wakes up a few times in the middle of the night, partly thanx to yours truly, who is also a light sleeper.

Then we get through the day and I am home usually by 8pm but MBB is still in the thick of things at work. So by the time he gets home, my eyelids have turned to lead. While MBB winds down, I'm halfway sailing to La-La Land.

See the problem? This is why my weekends are EXTREMELY precious to me. Hence the resentment if I am expected to work through the weekend!

Back to yesterday.... When MBB came home, he told me his management is exploring the possibility of shift work. There'll be 3 shifts, Morning - 7 to 5, Normal - 8.30 to 6.30, Late - 11 - 8.30. When I heard it, I got a little mad. Why? Because this arrangement gave me hope.

False Hope.

It made me believe that he would be able to come home give and take an hour, so I expect that I'd have him to myself by 7. It made me believe that there'll be more time spent with him.But the sad reality is that he will still be at the office way after 5. The only good thing I see about this shift thing is that on days he works the late shift, he'll be able to sleep in a little more.

Now, I am optimistic to the point of being annoying. Especially because most that surround me are cynics who see the glass as half empty. But for the case in point, even I, the ever optimist, cannot see the my situation improving.

Am I being unreasonable? Am I being a difficult wife? Am I not trying hard enough to understand the demands of his job?

Right now, I just do not know.

*Sigh*

Let's Take A Moment

I'm battling one bitch of a migraine that is making me puke my guts out and leaving me deaf in one ear and a little bit sight impaired. All this because my darlings mostly scored 7-9 out of 18 for their comprehension exercise! It sickens me to the pit of my stomach coz I know they can do it!

How do I motivate them?

How do I get them to do their work coz they want to do it well and not just pay lip service?

How am I going to get my A and A* at the end of the year?

HELP!!!

I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off....... I'm going to take me a moment and enjoy my caramel macchiato. But migraine can drink coffee?